Small Confession

I hope that no one thinks that I am a bad mom BUT until yesterday Brooklyn's crib sheet had not been changed since she was born. I can hear all the GASPS for here! (I know Heather, you reminded me a month ago to change but I then preceded to forget)

Well anyway, Dave and I were talking about cleaning and he mentioned that we still hadn't changed the sheet so while he entertained B I got on the task of changing the sheet. Let me tell you...I am NOT changing it again! Dave can do it. I actually worked up a sweat changing it. B has a crib bumper (please don't post about how I shouldn't have one...I like it and she cant move all that well yet so lay off!) and when I put it on before she was born I tied it on and apparently tied it in double knots. The only way that it is coming off it if I cut it! (Great work Amber) Since I couldn't take it off I had to pull the mattress through the bumper. Not as easy as it sounds. Once I finally got it off...Dave comes in because he hears me grunting and making more noise than you would think a person changing a crib sheet should make. He then makes a comment that only a ~man~ would make and I go back to the task at hand. After about 15 more minutes and several busted knuckles later the crib sheet is on and the mattress is back in the crib.

Needless to say, I ~will not~ be changing her crib sheet anytime soon. So Brooklyn, I wouldn't spit up or have a massive poo in your crib or if you do PLEASE do it while I am karate so your daddy will have to clean it!

Hugs...

Bundle 'ol Firsts!

First let me say that I hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Christmas with their friends and families. I know that we had a great yet exshating time.

Over the past several weeks Dave, Brooklyn and I as a family have had many firsts! Some of the firsts are small and we don't take notice but the others big and we look out for them taking pictures to record it forever.

So far Brooklyn has had her 1st -
Halloween
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Snow storm/Ice storm

She has also done...for the first time -
smiled
smiled at a specific person
laughed (only a couple of times)
coos/talks
randomly bats at toys when near her (i think it is more of an accident though)

So if you are wondering what this post is all about...I wanted to post the pictures/video showing everyone my beautiful daughter firsts.

First Christmas -


First photgaphed smile -


First Halloween -


I posted these firsts on youtube!

Brooklyn rolling over - Check out what she does at the end!



Brooklyn in her jumperoo - She is FINALLY tall enough for her feet to touch the ground!



Here are a few pictures of our Christmas.

Brooklyn & Daddy -


Brooklyn & Mommy -


Brooklyn -


We had a great Christmas. We all got great gifts and enjoyed spending time together. Dave and I were a little worried about getting Brooklyn off her normal schedule but she didn't do too bad. She did fuss a little a naps but mostly went to sleep when she should have and sleep well at night.

Dave's dad got me an awesome digital camera...needless to say I have taken about 130ish pictures already. I got the camera on Christmas Eve and went crazy after that...Thanks Dave for taking me out to Wal-mart at 10:30pm to get a camera case and photo picture card.

Lastly, this is one of my favs from this weekend -



She is too cute!

Looks like santa brought my present early this year!

Well...Brooklyn has been sleeping in about 5 to 7 hour stretches for about a month now BUT the last two nights she has slept from.....wait for it......9:15ish until 8:15ish!

I know this might not be forever but it was nice to have for those two nights!

Wishing ~all~ my other mommy friends a sleep fulled night!

Memories...Old and New!

Memories...We all have them! Some are good and some are not so good. As most of you know I lost a little girl in 2000. Her name was Skylar Elisabeth and she was completely beautiful. I never really understood why she past or what happened that made her not thrive inside me.

Now that we have Brooklyn, I have been thinking about her more and more. What would she have looked like, what kind of personality would she have, would she be a girlie girl or love to play in the mud. This Christmas she would have been 7 years old. 7 is such a great year for Christmas...You still believe in Santa and all the ~magic~ of the holiday is still new and exciting.

I don't talk about her very often...I think that I don't because I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. I don't think that I am giving Skylar justice by doing this though. She was and is a large part of my life. She was given to me to take of for those short 21 weeks inside me. I love her and miss her.

I was reading a friends blog, and say this. I think that it really embodies the feelings that I had back then and am still dealing with.


20 Things Parents of Angels Wish People Would Remember

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my babies doesn't mean they don't deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about them.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my babies, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby weren't really a baby and they were blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was human live. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and face. I have seen my babies' body and face. My baby was a real person - and they were alive.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby was born and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace them. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?


It is crazy to me that I even said that God gave me Brooklyn to replace Skylar...when in fact he gave me both of them but unfortunately Skylar was just around for a little while. Please don't feel that I am posting this because someone offended me or I was hurt in someway recently. I just want everyone to know how Mommy's with angels feel and what we/they need. Not just for me but for everyone out there that is dealing with a loss.

Merry Christmas Skylar...I know that you are having a ~blessed~ Christmas in heaven and are looking down on us and your new little sister! We ~love~ you...


Hugs...

Do they have a group for this?

Alright...I think that I have a problem. What is the problem you ask? Well it is currently after 11pm, everyone in the house is asleep, and I am awake.

You would think that being a new mother I would jump at the chance to get some extra sleep...apparently not! I instead am thinking about all the different scrapbooking pages that I could be doing. We stopped by Walgreen's after dinner (Cheddars..Yummy!) and picked up my pictures that I ordered. I was so excited to get them home a start scrapbooking. When we got home , Brooklyn was hungry, then she needed a bath, and then to bed. By the time I was finished with that, Dave and I started to catch up on all of our TiVo that we have missed.

So now its 11:21pm, and I can't sleep because I would rather be scrapbooking!

Hello....My name is Amber, and I have a problem. (I actually blame Shannon!;)

Alright, maybe just one more page and then off to bed. Great...Here we go again!

Hugs....

Countdown to Christmas!

Well it's time of year again! Christmas time, the holiday season, the time to spend with the ones you love, time to gain an extra 10lbs because everything is so freaking yummy!

Well this year will be Brooklyn's First Christmas. Dave and I are really excited...alright maybe I am ~really~ excited and Dave is just along for the ride. We decorated our house right after Thanksgiving, our lights were put up a few weeks ago (thanks Doug!), all the shopping is complete and the presents are wrapped and under the beautifully decorated tree.

Since Dave and my familys live in different states we rotate where we go for the holidays. This year is a Beckley year. Since it is a Beckley year, my family came up last weekend. I think that they also brought the snow too! That was alright though, my mom was insisnting on making everyone call last weekend Christmas! She kept saying that she didn't want Brooklyn to know that she wouldn't be with her on Christmas.

Here is Brooklyn looking at us all wondering what are doing...


My Mom opening her favorite gift...A picture frame that says GRANKIDS with pics of all her grandkids!


Just a little reminder mom....She is only 3 months old, she doesn't wven know when it is Monday let alone knowing that it is Christmas! hehehe

Since we had Christmas with my family last weekend we will be having Christmas with Dave's family on Christmas. His grandmother on his Dad's side has a big Christmas Eve dinner/lunch. She is such a great cook....Note to self: Bring materity pants! Then on Christmas morning we will be opening gifts with Patty (Dave's mom)and having a good Christmas morning breakfast for we head back to Morgantown.

I can't wait to get back home and watch Dave and Brooklyn open there presents. Well, at least watch Brooklyn watch Dave or myself open her presents! Either way it will be a great day and holiday season! I can't wait...

Dave opening gifts.


Brooklyn looking at ~all~ the clothes Grammy got her. I think a total of 7 outfits!


My fam before the WVU basketball game..We play UMBC and won of course. The basketball team is ranked now. I think 24th! WOo Hoo!


Edited to add...Notice ~no~ pictures of me. When I was opening my presents guess who was holding the camera! Thanks Dave!

Just sleep already!

Over the past 3 weeks Brooklyn has been doing great a sleeping at night ~but~ during the day is a different story.

I don't understand it...If you are tired then sleep. I could understand ~if~ she woke up (after sleeping 15 min) and wanted to play BUT she doesn't! She wants to still sleep but she wants you to hold while sleeping. Doesn't she know that I have things to do.

Oh my God...please help me! There is only so much I can take!

We have tried seeing if she was hungry...didn't work. We have tried seeing if she just wasn't tired...didn't work. I think that next time, I am jsut going to get in the crib with her and cry. Maybe she will see that she is turning her mom into a basketcase and rethink her sleeping strike.

Vent Over....Thanks for reading.

Hugs...

I got it from my mama! I got is from my mama!

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I am happy to say that Brooklyn looks more like me than Dave....I really think it is just because she is dark like me though! haha

Our first tradition as a family!

Well..Since having Brooklyn, Dave and I have been trying our hardest to keep up our traditions that we have started since being married. One that we really enjoy every year is cutting down our christmas tree. It had snowed earlier in the week ~so~ we were trudging through the snow, up hill with a 2 month old trying to find the "perfect" tree.

Here is Dave looking for a tree...



After about 45 min of looking for a tree we finally found the tree. I think that I actually found the tree but Dave might say that something different!

Here is our 2007 Chirstmas Tree...



Dave cut down the tree and we dragged it back to the car! Brooklyn and I just walked behind Dave looking at all the pretty snow blanketed hills. I think that Brooklyn had a great time. As we were leaving we saw another Mom with 3 kids dragging there tree to there car. I couldn't help but think of the time when Dave and I will be like that. How exciting it will be to have our little ones picking out the tree and wanting to help daddy cut it down! For now though I am excited about expereincing this first Christmas season with Brooklyn.

Here is a picture of Mommy and Brooklyn...



Hugs....

Time for a change!

Alright...I don't think that anyone actually reads my posts and that's alight! ~BUT~ I have decided to post anyway and to keep up with posting. I am so bad at remembering to post about what is going on in my new world as a mommy.

This is my commitment to blogging!

Hugs....Amber

Since I haven't posted in a while...Here are some pics of Brooklyn that I just ~love~

One Month down...

Wow! I can't believe that a month again I was pregnant! A month ago, Dave and I weren't parents! And that a month ago, I still remembered what it felt like to sleep through the night!



This first month has been wonderfully scary, stressful, and magical. Brooklyn is settling into her new world around her as Dave and I are along for the ride. We LOVE the ride though!



At the beginning, breastfeeding was a struggle but over the past few weeks it has started to become so much better. She is not sleeping through the night yet but I don't think that she should be yet. She is still waking about 2 to 3 times a night to feed and normally goes right back down. YEAH! Dave is back to work so the nights are all on me! I try to make sure that the little lady is not too loud so he can get some sleep. That is hard sometimes, she HATES diaper changes with a passion.



Oh yeah...How about some stats: She had some weight issues in the beginning so that is why she hasn't gained too much past her birth weight but she have gained a lot from what she has lost. She actually got down to 6lbs 5oz at one point. It was scary but we are happy to report that she is gaining again!



Birth:
7lbs 1oz
19 3/4 in

3 weeks:
7lbs 3 1/2 oz
19 3/4 in



I think that is all for tonight... It is getting late (9:30, who knew that I would think that was late) and the little one will want to eat again soon!

xoxo